Reflections

This past week I got to spend it in California with the Beasley family and was given the honor of being Jordynn's Godmother! It was a very fun time. I got to go to San Fran-which also was a very fun time. Once I get my pictures loaded tonight-I will post some on here and rest will be on FB.

So as I write this I am watching, rather listening to my 2 packers pack up my apartment-sort of a bittersweet moment. And it makes me reflect on the last almost 10 months that I have been here.. I have already reflected a few posts back on my nannying job-and what leaving those jobs has meant-but for a minute I would like to reflect on the other personal aspects of living here..mmm as I say that I am wondering if that even makes any sense right now.

The day I came to this town-hadn't even moved here, it was when me and Matt came to find some place to live, I immediately disliked this town. And really regretted at that time saying 'yes' to moving here.. However, I knew for Matt's sake, this was what we had to do in order for him to move 'up' in the company. so I put my big girl pants on and moved here.. I should of known that this town wasn't for me-and that the events that happened the morning I moved were a 'sign' to stay in Omaha. Wow-I won't ever forget that morning, nor will I think Dani. I got here no problem. Then that's when everything hit me-'What have I done?' (and let me remind you these words have repeated several times in my head over the past 10 months) Over the last 10 months not much of my feelings have changed for this town. I still do not like it one bit. The only things that have made this town somewhat bearable is the fact there are coffee shops at every corner, there is a Maurices, 2 targets, and the few but amazing friends/family I have made here.  Without the friends that I made here, of The Beasley's and their families, I would of left a looong time ago I think, I think I would of pushed harder to get transferred back. And even this transfer we didn't push for at all, we simply asked about it in the future and bam the future came to the present.

I once saw a quote by Emerson that simply stated “For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.”
This statement couldn't be any more true at this time in my life. As I was busy here trying to make friends and trying to get our lives settled here-I lost some of the life and friendships I had in other parts of the country. And as I have sat here several times before, and reflected on it-the only phrase that I can simply state is 'it sucks', I could of done a lot more to prevent some of this from happening. Some of the friendship I let suffer (and yes I know it is a 2 way street) were friendships that I thought couldn't of been stronger, boy was I wrong.

They always say you find out who your true friends are, (and I think strong/true friendships are) when you get married, have babies, and move. Boy that couldn't be any more true. Except in one instance, when I totally screwed up a friendship, all because of my jealousy and hate towards myself for being jealous. I let that get the best of me-and may of ruined a great friendship I had with someone, that I know has survived most of those 3 and many more things in our friendship. All I can hope is that eventually as the saying goes 'time heals all wounds' and one day we can be apart of each others lives again. Because I royally screwed up.

Back to my reflection on Washington-moving from here is a very bittersweet event. I couldn't be happier to be back in the Midwest, closer to family and other friends, but it does sadden me to leave the family that i have made here. But they know that they will always be apart of my life, and that I will be back often to come and visit them. My last day in town is my bday-which is already going to be an interesting day, but its going to be a sad day at that. At least I get to spend it with my 'family' here doing whatever crazy party we have planned.

This post has been nothing more then a bunch of jumbled up thoughts-that hopefully make sense. That is all I have for now-I will post some pics from Cali tonight or tomorrow-I have dinner with the Thompson's tonight and tons of errands to run-so I shall see.. Hope everyone has a good day-and don't take things for granted!